& my world will be coloured.

Monday, August 30, 2004

-blows nose into tissue paper- nose block. GREAT. i think im falling sick.. thank goodness sept hols is coming.. so that i can recharge.. but e prob is i think this hols oso wun be much of a hols.. coz gotta mug for promos.. so sian. but at least can sleep at least 10 hours a day n nobody's gonna wake me up.. ^.^ so xin fu.
anyway tml sch's celebrating teachers' day so no lessons.. yay! den i missed lwt's phys lesson! that's e best part.. haha.. but e pt is i haf e overseas cip trip meeting up to 4pm!!!! :( i wanted to go back ny one leh... now so sad.. long time no go back le.. i miss ny. e trees. e quadrangle. e hall. e classrooms. e frens. e big big canteen.. i think u get e idea. hah. but let me just repeat myself again if i haven. ny is e best sch one can ever find..so if ur daughter can make it rite.. pls pls send her to ny. no regrets! guarantee. hehe. :) :)

Shan ♥ 10:44 PM

Saturday, August 28, 2004

i think i better update before anyone thinks that im gonna commit suicide. haha.. er. bout e previous entry.. i was just venting my frustration.. was upset at certain things.. quite surprised that quite a no. of pple actually read my entries. haha.. thank you guys for ur concern.. i really appreciate it.. :)
anyway im gonna get myself pierced by two big fat needles tml.... im gonna get injections!!! one is e Typhoid injection, e other one ish for tetanus.. BOOo.. pple who noe me sure know i dread injections!!! imagine e needle piercing thru ur skin. e tot scares me. who e hell invented injections anyway.. all thanx to this guy i haf to suffer... sigh. anyway, whenever i haf to take injections rite.. i will be like super nervous or wad.. i remember e last time i took an injection was in sec 3..for e hep B thing.. er. after e injection... i vomitted! -.0 den e last last time was prob in p6.. i nearly fainted.. as in my head was spinning.. but i think i didnt faint.. but i fainted after i extracted my tooth in p2 though.. lol.. ok. so from e above examples illustrated.. u can be sure of one thing. im darn scared of pain! hahaha.. but i shall be strong. i will bear with it. hahah.. let's hope i bring good news tml.. if im still alive that is..

Shan ♥ 10:51 PM

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

i realised that i've become a very emotional person lately.. i get upset at e most trivial things.. n i get upset at myself very often.. wad is wrong with me?! some pple say they face a middle aged crisis.. but im not even 18 yet.. yet i'm feeling like e world's gonna come crashing on me... n e jc life that i always looked forward to back in sec sch..where is it? did i picture it to be too perfect n reality just tell me im wrong all these while? i dread jc life! i can forsee myself being very unhappy for e next 1 yr plus... im like a lost sheep wo a purpose in life... i feel that my energy is being drained away from me every single second.. where is e old me???? i feel so helpless.. is anyone feeling e way i do or is it only me.. i feel that i haf a lot of problem adapting to changes.. i wan my old life back...

Shan ♥ 11:34 PM

Monday, August 23, 2004

TIRED TIRED TIRED... ah. hai. this week got econs test.. one big chap on market structure.. im gonna die studying.. sheesh. so far rite.. im confused with a lot of things taught in schs.. why is this so?!?!? how am i gonna ever get thru promos.. i cant see myself doing that.. i seriously need to do some soul searching by settling down to study. i wan to do well!!! by right, i shldnt even be here. so.. tataa..

Shan ♥ 10:18 PM

Friday, August 20, 2004

yay, another weekend~! can catch up on my sleep.. i've been watching e olympic games these few days.. events such as diving n gymastics.. as i watched e diving yday at arnd 12am rite.. e chinese pair could haf cliched e gold easily but they screwed up e last dive.. n was awarded no pts!!!!! u noe how sad was that... i just feel so sad for them.. it was like e gold was just so near yet so far.. n imagine e no of hours they put in for training.. all their hard work amount to nothing!!! n todae.. i watched e trampoline qualifying rounds.. den e defending gold medalist from russia took a plunge at e trampoline n landed at e mattress arnd e trampoline n did not complete e routine. she was awarded on an average 0.6/10 from each judge.. my goodness. i felt my heart wrench as e next competitor did a similar thing.. u may say they are unlucky.. which is true.. but it's just so sad when u put in so much hard work n nothing comes out of it... u noe those kinda feelings.. it actually not only applies to sports. but to life as well... for eg. studies i guess.. i did tried hard for Os.. but yet. screwed. got 5 A2s.. n end up with 10 pts. my dreams of going to rj was instantly destroyed.. now im in sa.. n i feel so lost.. lost in studies.. lost in e environment that i cant adapt. i feel that there's no motivation for me to go to sch.. like there's absolutely nothing for me to look forward to! i've even lost e joy n passion for badminton. im prob going for trainings just becoz i haf to.. hai. my life is in a complete mess!i need to rediscover my joy n find my purpose in life fast.. before i go bersek or something..

Shan ♥ 11:30 PM

Monday, August 16, 2004

i saw my eye candy in sch several times todae.. haha.. n we exchanged eye contact several times! hahaha..so exciting. it was damn funny coz i walked into e sch this morning n i saw him..den he walked beside me n i dun dare look at him. my goodness. -.-' den after that morning assembly.. he stood beside me! haha. n i din noe lo. until someone said something bout e standing of e classes..den i turned arnd n he was there.. taaadaaaa... :) :) :) :) n i saw him at chem lecture.. n it was there.. when i saw him looking in my direction toO! maybe it was just a coincidence which i think it was. hahaha. nvm. im contented.. lol. oh yea, before i went home i saw him at cafe again.. haha.. my day was so bright bright bright! my goodness. i sound as if im very desperate.. lol. let me clarify.. im not. :) just an eye candy.. see den happy. den end of story those kind. in fact, i dun even noe him! hahahha.. my goodness.. my entry that's full of crap.

Shan ♥ 11:07 PM

Sunday, August 15, 2004

hohohoho.. merry xmas. i just activated my hp mms servicee...sheesh. i've used e phone like for 1 yr plus le..den i finally go n activate.. lol. n plus i changed my hp cover.. to some fake cover for 12 bucks.. n its red! blue to red. wad a great difference.. nvm. i quite like it.. yep. :)
todae saw alot of pple.. for some unknown reason.. n singapore seems so small once again... i think im not being very coherent here.. haha. must be mr zhou at work again..asking me to meet him in my dreams... sheesh. ok. thats all for todae. tata.

Shan ♥ 12:24 AM

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

hai. im sick n tired of all my tutorials especially physics.. sigh. i cant picture myself passing e test on friday.. i haf a math test on friday too! my goodness.. e sch like to put all e tests together. den mon got chem test.. n chem spa. sheeeesh. oh yea, haf to hand in pw first draft like next week?! n wad haf we done? only tabulated 1/3 of our survey results.. geez. haven started on e actual report yet lo.. this is so pointless lah.. e worst thing is pw is gonna be scraped next yr!!!!!!!! pple who agree with me that pw sucks.. pls breathe...

Shan ♥ 10:11 PM

Sunday, August 08, 2004

hmm. i was reading thru some blogs that i dun usually visit just now.. mostly guys whom im not really close to.. as i read thru their blog.. i realise that guys can get really emotional at times.. i dunno why i haf this feeling that guys shld be strong n stuff.. n not be upset by e little things that happen arnd them... hm. but after reading thru their blogs.. i haf to agree there are actually sensitive guys arnd too.. just that in real life they tend to act strong n not reveal their true feelings to anyone... fuuny isnt it? haha.. ok. actually not funny.. its just a new discovery i made! n oh yea. i realise that i dun really typed out how i feel in my blog.. coz i read other pple's blog..den its like they really pour their woes on e blog. i dun do that.. perhaps im not ready to share my inner self with anybody that chance upon my blog.. i usually jot down wad happened in my daily life..which is very sian.. haha.. i hardly talk bout stuff that really affect me.. i guess if u really wan to noe. u haf to ask me urself...
anyway we had national day celebration on friday.. n lin jun jie made a guest appearance.. created quite a stir.. haha.n he only sang e chorus of e song "home".. so disappointing.. den after that we had e overseas cip trip briefing..as expected.. i din get into e exco... haha.. i guess i dun really show any leadership as im unwilling to speak up at times.. i need to change!! must learn to speak up more often.. ohyea, im in logistics.. shld haf alot of work to do.. haha. nvm. i look forward to e trip! :)
after e cip briefing.. i had e mixed doubles finals which i totally screwed... one of e worst games i've played.. i dunno wad i was doing lahh... was making all e stupid mistakes.. n i kept hitting out!!!! hai. i've let ts down.. :( although he nv blame me.. i noe he dun feel good inside... afterall..who feels good after losing right..especially it's losing without a fight... we could haf put up a stronger resistance though.. but yea, i screwed it all.... yes, me..

Shan ♥ 1:40 PM

Thursday, August 05, 2004

i got in!!!! :) :) :) :) hehe. i got selected for e overseas cip trip.. if nothing crops up, i'll be going to thailand at e end of e yr! pray hard for me guys! heh. oh yea. but i was quite upset bout one thing.. one of my classmates nv get selected..she was like so sad.. hmm.. i think there was some misunderstanding between she n her grp pple. oh well.. long story.. i guess she just didnt express herself properly.. sigh. hope she will cheer up.
ok anyway... i haf a swollen finger.. from playing netball.. i was trying to intercept a ball.. den e stupid ball hit my fingers n my fingers were bent backwards.. OUCH. oh well. its actually alright le.. but still a bit pain n im playing my mixed doubles finals tml.. hopefully it wun affect my playing..
oh yea.. im participating in inter house games tml.. in some obstacle race.. haha.. er. so exciting. lol..

Shan ♥ 10:51 PM

Monday, August 02, 2004

i just came back from e overseas cip trip selection camp yday.. er. two days ago to be exact. yep. it was a 2 days 1 nite thing.. anyway it was damn mentally taxing n energy draining camp.. we were woken up at 4am for a fire drill.. my frens were posing as pple who were e missing pple.. sheesh. den we kana scolding coz we din noe where they went n they say we were damn careless.. yep. n den we had to trek from school to mt faber at 5am in e morning.. i was still half asleep.. at e peak of e moutain rite.. we saw a couple in e car.. hahaha.. er. they were kissing. yep. n when they spotted us.. they were in total shock.. lol. e girl was trying to hide while e guy simply looked pissed. hahahahahahaha. anyway that is not e main pt of my entry. haha. after we returned to e sch.. we had breakfast n a few of us haf to leave for chem prac (yawn) yep.. den we missed quite a bit of activities.. by e time we returned.. it was time for interview.. n guess wad? i was e last person to be interviewed~!! e wait was quite alright lah..coz we were playing lame games.. lol. as usual. e interview was alright in my pt of view.. but i dunoo wad e pple who interviewed me tot of me.. well. i'll find out soon. hehe. let's hope i get selected lah. :) ohyea, we were forced to clean e cafe as well.. sianess lo. e sch already hired pple to clean liao..den they still wan us to clean.. in e end.. oso end up e cleaners haf to clean once more.. we were hindrance more than help! oh e highlight of this camp was e endurance run.. it was great! we ran 45 mins non stop..well.. this is e first time i ran for such a long time without stopping lah.. so proud of myself.. but im now suffering from post effects of e camp.. muscle aches!! haha.. im like walking arnd with much difficulty.. but it was really quite an experience lah.. overall i rate this camp 8/10. :) 2 pts was deducted cos i din haf my belongings with me on e first nite..coz e shuttles were shut n i couldnt get to my locker!! bleah. n my stuff were locked inside. so i end up borrowing lots of stuff from pple.. haha..

Shan ♥ 12:06 AM